Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
