direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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