hell yes lets make some ravioli
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
