Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
