5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
