Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
