im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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