sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
