I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
