Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
