today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
