You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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