You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
