it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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