can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
