Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
