Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
