So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
