were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
