I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
