So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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