shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he laminated a picture of his dick.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
