After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize