My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I am available for nakedness
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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