shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
