Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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