She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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