Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
