I'm jealous of your bromance
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
where are you?
Hypothermia
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
