she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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