I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
