Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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