I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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