Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
