You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
