since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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