I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
