guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
