So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
