"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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