nut hugger
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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