you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
