I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize