speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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