He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize