Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
