I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
