Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We are two peas in an std pod
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
