Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
