I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's blow job season.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
