My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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