Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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