very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
please come you make the beer taste better
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize