How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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