One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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