everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
