I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
