Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
