No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
