I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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