Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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