She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize